NEVER DISCUSS RELIGION, POLITICS, OR MONEY! REALLY?

I went to the Yearly “Gatherin’ at the River” this past week and I had a great time seeing my extended family and so many friends.  I saw a cousin that I have not seen in almost 25 years.  IT is WONDERFUL to be able to get together with so many of my family members.  At the Gatherin’, there were more than 75 people for dinner.  MOREOVER, there were 20 to 30 there for several days afterwards.  I thank God for my sister Mary who hosts this yearly gatherin’ with the warmest and most welcoming smile.  She truly has the gift of hospitality!  Thank you too, for all the ‘helpers’: cooks, bakers, kettle washers, and cleanup crew.   “Many Hands Make Light Work!” WE are truly a FAMILY BLESSED!

Getting together with so many people can be very interesting sometimes.  There may be a spat or brief argument, but it is quickly squashed.  In addition, sometimes there is some LIVELY discussion going on that NOT everyone is excited about.  You know what I mean… when people start talking politics, investments, and the most TABOO subject of all… RELIGON.  MANY of MY generation feel that you should NEVER talk about these subjects, because we need to be tolerant and accepting of other opinions.  However, in the process my generation has also lost the ART of CONVERSATION… REAL CONVERSATION.  You see, because we have been taught that; we no longer practice it and as a result do not keep up to date on issues of politics, history and most important our faith or religion.  We have a tendency to leave that to the Politicians, (yeah… like they are doing a great job with that in Washington?!) priest, and financial planners.  WE no longer do our own homework … but rely on these people to do ALL our ‘thinking’ for us.  IN the process… we become uninformed, we are unable to THINK critically, forget history, forget what it means to be a Democrat or Republican, and we forget the important tenants of our FAITH.  There is REAL TRUTH in… “You don’t use it? YOU LOSE IT!”

Last year in 2010, I don’t remember exactly; I was having a discussion with one of my relatives about religion.  THERE WERE SEVERAL people SQUIRMING in their seats… or shall I say CRINGING!  I was debating religion with a young man who didn’t agree with me.  YES, we both were a little heated… but stopped and said… WAIT a MINUTE… let us listen one at a time.  However, before we said that… one of my older relatives told me to stop talking about this “… you don’t talk about Politics and Religion, because we don’t want any arguments!”  He was emphatic.  I immediately said… “WAIT a minute… if we don’t ‘TALK’ about this stuff HOW are we going to LEARN (especially the younger people)?”

The problem with this mentality of NOT talking about these… the most important subjects of the human experience… we SHIRK our responsibilities as parents by not PASSING on our ‘life experience’.  Our kids learn from TEACHERS, and FRIENDS, and “ACTIVISTS”, at the bar, the street, school, and ESPECIALLY on COLLEGE CAMPUSES!  WHEN do they hear about REAL LIFE APPLICATION from US?  I am not saying that as adults we are always right.  In fact, when I talk and debate with the younger generation, I find some VERY interesting OBSERVATIONS.  THEY ARE NOT STUPID!  Misguided… maybe. J  THEY have a lot to SAY… but have only heard it from the sources I have mentioned.  THEY NEED TO HEAR it from US as well.  THEY need to know why we as adults think the way we do and they need to hear about history and life from the source itself… not from some history or sociology professor who has a liberal agenda and wants to teach their own version of HISTORY, philosophy, religion, and political agendas.

As Parents, we often have been so busy at work and making money so that we can send our kids to college to get the best education and opportunities, so that they have the tools they need to live a full and productive life.  We send them there, often with our money, to have them 'BRAINWASHED' into thinking like a 'progressive adult' and then when they get out of college we wonder WHO THE HECK IS THIS KID?   WE forget about the simple things.  EVEN I AM guilty of not giving my kids what they needed the most.  MY TIME, MY PHILOSOPHY, my LIFE experience, MY HISTORY.  THESE are the things that books can’t teach.  It is our UNWRITTEN WORDS… the SPOKEN word…that we need to give more of.  LIFE in RELATIONSHIPS… communications on the more than 'normal' or ‘surface level.'  IT’s NOT easy, it can get hot at times and IT takes a lot of work.  Maybe that is why we don’t want to talk about politics and religion…because we either don’t remember, don’t stay current, or are just plain to busy or TIRED to try.  As a result, we are NOT TALKING to our kids about what is REALLY important and IMPORTANT to US.  FOLKS… this is the ONLY way we can hand down the important things in life… the OBJECTIVE TRUTHS that we all hold dear.  WE must start anew, before it gets any later.  IF we do not build these relationships and foster them, sharpen our debating skills by studying and keeping current… they will find the information they need to go forward from someone else.  Who will that someone be?    IF your kids are saying like mine have…  “DAD, you don’t have a clue, I’m not going to listen to you.”; “YOU just are too old fashioned and you are not ‘relative’ or ‘relevant’ anymore.”; “I learned it at college and I’m out in the world every day, why do I need to listen to you anymore.  I have my own opinions” And, they will finish by saying, “You aren’t saying anything that makes sense (cause you haven’t kept up) and I know better than you now.”  Folks, this happens every day and everywhere… somewhere.

Therefore, my friends the next time you are talking with your children and they reveal that they no longer believe in God.  BEFORE you fall over from those words, because you just do not understand where your kids were in Church every week… SHARPEN UP your skills.  PRAY for the Holy Spirit to help you. In addition, TALK, NO DEBATE your (adult) children … treating them as the equals that they are.  GUIDE them.  IF YOU DO NOT… CNN, ABC, FOX, MSNBC, and CBS with all their TV PERSONALITIES will all be there, along with the Teachers and College Professors doing the job for YOU.

Until Next time, May God Bless and Keep you.

Bill

Sex Abuse IS NOT Exclusive To The Catholic Chruch

As a Roman Catholic, I am very conscious of the shame that the sex abuse scandal has brought to the Catholic Church.  In this recent article from the NY Times dated March 12, 2011, the reporter brings to the written page a "REVELATION" of UNTHINKABLE proportions.  This is an extensive article (more than 6 typed pages long) and was well researched and presented.  I know there will be those who say that as a Catholic I am trying to divert attention from the Church's major scandal to the much bigger scandal in the public sector.  However, they must also realize that no matter where this kind of behavior is found it MUST be rooted out and dealt with.  While the Church has brought shame upon herself because of the sex abuse scandal, I am also very aware of the extensive steps the church has done to prevent such abuse in the Future.  Unfortunately the public sector and our government has done absolutely nothing for the past 12 years about the extensive abuses found  in these group homes, by counselors, hospitals, and especially in our public schools where the problem is worse than any other sector of society.

Charol Shakeshaft Ph.D., a scholar from Hofstra University completed a report  commissioned by the U.S. Department of Education, in compliance with the 2002 "No Child Left Behind Act" signed into law by President Bush. Between 6 and 10 percent of public school children across the country have been sexually abused or harassed by school employees and teachers.  It is estimated that roughly 290,000 students experienced some sort of physical sexual abuse by a school employee from a single decade—1991-2000.  That compares with about five decades of  cases of abuses found in the church by clergy and religious.  The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, in a report on the nature and scope of their abuse problem, found almost 14,000 cases of abuse by  about 4,000 priests and deacons since 1950 -2000.  That is 290,000 over a NINE-YEAR period in the public schools vs. 14,000 over a FIFTY-YEAR period in the Catholic Church. Shakeshaft commented that such figures led her to  contend: “…the physical sexual abuse of students in the schools is likely more than 100 times the abuse by priests.”  (To learn more Google: Charol Shakeshaft PhD. or go to the links at the end of this article.) 

I am also just as outraged by the level of media coverage that these articles have had -- or should I say - LACK of coverage.  The media coverage of the Catholic priest abuse scandal is nearly COAST TO COAST and on every major network.  Yet, whether they just want to turn a blind eye, or they are just anti-Catholic, or are maybe they are just too afraid of the Public worker/teacher Labor Unions …. There is NOTHING but DEAD SILENCE when it comes to the problem in our public schools.   Even though I am Catholic, I am still an AMERICAN CITIZEN!  WHERE is the public OUTCRY!?  WHERE is the OUTRAGE!?!?  AS a parent, I DO NOT have a problem if a priest who is guilty of sex abuse is removed and or jailed.  I am also VERY concerned when there is NOTHING being done to protect the VICTIMS of these  CRIMES by these public sector Perpetrators!

I hope you read the articles linked to this post.  Look for yourself and learn the facts.  Then write your state and federal representatives to insist on action.  Thank you for listening.  We must all be a part of the solution or we must confess to being a part of the problem.

Abused and Used At State-Run Homes

Sex Abuse by Teachers Said Worse Than Catholic Church

Until next time,
May God Bless and Keep You

The Sacrament of Reconciliation: Do You Dread It?

This Lent the bishop of the Diocese of Ogdensburg, Bishop Terry R. LaValley has asked that parish priests set aside March 26, 2011 as a day for the Sacrament of Reconciliation /Penance.  He has asked them to schedule additional time for the faithful to fulfill their yearly minimum requirement.  As Catholics, we are required to celebrate the Sacrament of Reconciliation at least once per year during the season of Lent.

Are you AFRAID to go to Confession?  Are you SCARED what the priest might THINK about you?  Well, I would like to share with you, my experience of going to “confession” for the first time in OVER 25 YEARS.  I was born and raised Catholic but by the time I was 26, I had left the Church and joined a protestant evangelical church.  Shamefully, I actually tried to get other Catholics to go with me; but that is another story for a later time.  I must also admit that over the years I often confessed that I would NEVER, EVER, EVER, go back to the Catholic Church. Did I say ‘never’? Well, we have all heard that before… “Never say never.”… Right?  After about 15 years in the protestant church, I began to have doubts about their beliefs and slowly attended church less and less until I just stopped going altogether.  Then I had some life changing and dramatic events in my life.  As you might expect, I looked to the only place that I knew I could find hope and help.  I turned to God.  

Although this process took a year or so, I ultimately found myself at
the doors of St. Mary’s Cathedral in Ogdensburg.  BOY was I scared!  I was shaking so, as I opened that door and went in.  NO, the roof did not cave in… but I did look up to make sure.   It was Saturday and I learned that confessions were being heard at this time. I approached the confessional; still shaking with my heart racing I entered the box. I was surprised when I saw that I had the option of sitting right in front of the priest. “OH NO! I’m DEAD!” I thought.  “I gotta look him in the eye? OH GOD!  WHAT have I done!?” I almost turned around and walked out I was so scared. “What is this man going to THINK of me when I tell him that I tried to lead Catholics away from the Church!?”  Then, into my head popped… “JUST DO IT”… like Nike says, “JUST DO IT!” And I did.  I sat down RIGHT in front of him.

He was reading a book and as he set it down, he lifted his eyes to me
with a wide and sincere smile. I immediately turned my eyes to the floor. I
just could not look at him. He extended his hand and I looked up at his eyes as we shook hands. I then introduced myself.  Then I froze!  I couldn’t speak.  MY lips and mouth were like a parched desert! “HOW am I going to get through this?!” I thought.  He sensed my anxiety and said in a soft voice, “It’s OK, just relax. Take a deep breath and relax.” I tried, but was not very successful.  I tried to speak and uttered a few words stumbling over them.  Then I finally got it out… “Bless me father for I have sinned, it has been over 25 years since my last confession...”  He said with a great big smile… “WELLLLLLL….” (At that instant I thought, ‘OH GOD… here it comes!")…. WEL-COMMMME Back!”  I was pleasantly surprised and so relieved. This priest was not like Monsignor Tierney whom I once feared as a child.  Maybe this isn’t going to be as hard as I thought.  I must say that as I began to share of my thoughts, my words and deeds of the last quarter century… he listened so intently.  He was sincere, genuinely concerned, loving, and encouraged me as we talked.  He made me feel so comfortable, and he even helped me with the prayers. He was truly lifting me up.  The Love I felt was amazing. "This is what Church should be like" I thought to myself. After he shared the story of the prodigal son and we discussed it briefly. He then prayed the words of absolution and my eyes welled up with tears of joy.  The BURDEN off my shoulders was enough to make me want to SOAR!  It was then I remembered one of the best things about confession… the RELIEF of Guilt and the JOY of being reconciled to God and his Church.   Once again, I was assured that I was once again in ‘right relationship” with my God.  I saw Father chuckle, as he noticed me let out a HUGE sigh of relief.  As I got up to leave, Father LaValley said to me. “Welcome home, we're SO glad to have you back.” I exited  the confessional with tears in my eyes.  I now go to confession at least once per month, whether I really need to or not.  I sit before the Blessed Sacrament before I go, and pray, collecting my thoughts, and reviewing my sins ... as well as my sins of omission. 


I was in that confessional no more than 5 minutes and I didn’t have to pay a dime. Going to confession regularly keeps me in right relationship with God, his Church, and especially with MYSELF!   Now I  go and CELEBRATE the Sacrament of Reconciliation regularly.  The Sacrament is SOOOO precious to me ... "Priceless"!  I think today, the  Sacrament of Reconciliation is nothing like i remember.  Sometimes I actually look forward to going. There is GENUS in CATHOLICISM! -- People just don't know what they are missing!  It may be the best kept secret in the CHRUCH!!!

Please check your parish bulletin for the times when the Sacrament of
reconciliation is celebrated. During Lent I am sure you will find Penance Services, Parish Missions, Stations of the Cross, as well as extended times for confessions.  I encourage you …. Please go and celebrate this wonderful Sacrament, and do it often.  Jesus misses each one of us who are not in right relationship with him.  He wants us ALL to be the VERY BEST person that we can be, and he wants to give us the grace to do so.  One more thing... don’t worry about being embarrassed about your shortcomings.  I have heard several priests say… “There is nothing that you might tell me that I haven’t heard many times before.  You just aren’t that original!”  I am also sure that over time those coming into the confessional are just like people you might meet at work.  You know the face, but you don’t remember every detail of the conversations you’ve ever had with them.  They all seem to just blend into obscurity.   I truly beleive that God give his priests an additional special gift.  The gift to forget the sins of many... including mine.  Thank you Lord for the thought you put into the Sacraments... There is GENIUS in CATHOLOCISM! ( I know... i'm repeating myself again.)

Go and celebrate the Sacrament of Reconciliation this week.  You KNOW that you will be glad you did.  In addition, going to confession may just make THIS celebration of the Feast of Easter the best you’ve had in years!

Until next time,
May God Bless and Keep You.