Are you AFRAID to go to Confession? Are you SCARED what the priest might THINK about you? Well, I would like to share with you, my experience of going to “confession” for the first time in OVER 25 YEARS. I was born and raised Catholic but by the time I was 26, I had left the Church and joined a protestant evangelical church. Shamefully, I actually tried to get other Catholics to go with me; but that is another story for a later time. I must also admit that over the years I often confessed that I would NEVER, EVER, EVER, go back to the Catholic Church. Did I say ‘never’? Well, we have all heard that before… “Never say never.”… Right? After about 15 years in the protestant church, I began to have doubts about their beliefs and slowly attended church less and less until I just stopped going altogether. Then I had some life changing and dramatic events in my life. As you might expect, I looked to the only place that I knew I could find hope and help. I turned to God.
Although this process took a year or so, I ultimately found myself at
the doors of St. Mary’s Cathedral in Ogdensburg. BOY was I scared! I was shaking so, as I opened that door and went in. NO, the roof did not cave in… but I did look up to make sure. It was Saturday and I learned that confessions were being heard at this time. I approached the confessional; still shaking with my heart racing I entered the box. I was surprised when I saw that I had the option of sitting right in front of the priest. “OH NO! I’m DEAD!” I thought. “I gotta look him in the eye? OH GOD! WHAT have I done!?” I almost turned around and walked out I was so scared. “What is this man going to THINK of me when I tell him that I tried to lead Catholics away from the Church!?” Then, into my head popped… “JUST DO IT”… like Nike says, “JUST DO IT!” And I did. I sat down RIGHT in front of him.
He was reading a book and as he set it down, he lifted his eyes to me
with a wide and sincere smile. I immediately turned my eyes to the floor. I
just could not look at him. He extended his hand and I looked up at his eyes as we shook hands. I then introduced myself. Then I froze! I couldn’t speak. MY lips and mouth were like a parched desert! “HOW am I going to get through this?!” I thought. He sensed my anxiety and said in a soft voice, “It’s OK, just relax. Take a deep breath and relax.” I tried, but was not very successful. I tried to speak and uttered a few words stumbling over them. Then I finally got it out… “Bless me father for I have sinned, it has been over 25 years since my last confession...” He said with a great big smile… “WELLLLLLL….” (At that instant I thought, ‘OH GOD… here it comes!")…. WEL-COMMMME Back!” I was pleasantly surprised and so relieved. This priest was not like Monsignor Tierney whom I once feared as a child. Maybe this isn’t going to be as hard as I thought. I must say that as I began to share of my thoughts, my words and deeds of the last quarter century… he listened so intently. He was sincere, genuinely concerned, loving, and encouraged me as we talked. He made me feel so comfortable, and he even helped me with the prayers. He was truly lifting me up. The Love I felt was amazing. "This is what Church should be like" I thought to myself. After he shared the story of the prodigal son and we discussed it briefly. He then prayed the words of absolution and my eyes welled up with tears of joy. The BURDEN off my shoulders was enough to make me want to SOAR! It was then I remembered one of the best things about confession… the RELIEF of Guilt and the JOY of being reconciled to God and his Church. Once again, I was assured that I was once again in ‘right relationship” with my God. I saw Father chuckle, as he noticed me let out a HUGE sigh of relief. As I got up to leave, Father LaValley said to me. “Welcome home, we're SO glad to have you back.” I exited the confessional with tears in my eyes. I now go to confession at least once per month, whether I really need to or not. I sit before the Blessed Sacrament before I go, and pray, collecting my thoughts, and reviewing my sins ... as well as my sins of omission.
I was in that confessional no more than 5 minutes and I didn’t have to pay a dime. Going to confession regularly keeps me in right relationship with God, his Church, and especially with MYSELF! Now I go and CELEBRATE the Sacrament of Reconciliation regularly. The Sacrament is SOOOO precious to me ... "Priceless"! I think today, the Sacrament of Reconciliation is nothing like i remember. Sometimes I actually look forward to going. There is GENUS in CATHOLICISM! -- People just don't know what they are missing! It may be the best kept secret in the CHRUCH!!!
Please check your parish bulletin for the times when the Sacrament of
reconciliation is celebrated. During Lent I am sure you will find Penance Services, Parish Missions, Stations of the Cross, as well as extended times for confessions. I encourage you …. Please go and celebrate this wonderful Sacrament, and do it often. Jesus misses each one of us who are not in right relationship with him. He wants us ALL to be the VERY BEST person that we can be, and he wants to give us the grace to do so. One more thing... don’t worry about being embarrassed about your shortcomings. I have heard several priests say… “There is nothing that you might tell me that I haven’t heard many times before. You just aren’t that original!” I am also sure that over time those coming into the confessional are just like people you might meet at work. You know the face, but you don’t remember every detail of the conversations you’ve ever had with them. They all seem to just blend into obscurity. I truly beleive that God give his priests an additional special gift. The gift to forget the sins of many... including mine. Thank you Lord for the thought you put into the Sacraments... There is GENIUS in CATHOLOCISM! ( I know... i'm repeating myself again.)
Go and celebrate the Sacrament of Reconciliation this week. You KNOW that you will be glad you did. In addition, going to confession may just make THIS celebration of the Feast of Easter the best you’ve had in years!
Until next time,
May God Bless and Keep You.
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